


Me and My Shadow

by unholy_this



Series: Killian Torture Chambers [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Beating, Killian Torture Chambers, Killian being jealous of his own shadow, Pain, Poisoning, Shadow Ripping, What's new, Whump, suffocating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 12:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10944843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unholy_this/pseuds/unholy_this
Summary: So... what if in 6.17 Killian hadn’t managed to rip off his shadow while in Neverland in time? What if Peter Pan was back and had some ideas for how to torture the pirate? Generally me ignoring (most of the) plot so that I can write whump.Aka cocohook38 on Tumblr asked for: Canon Hook whumped by Peter Pan in Neverland for the Killian Torture Chambers.





	Me and My Shadow

He hadn’t made it.

He had needed to do just one bloody thing - rip off his shadow so that it could get him home, or at least fly to Emma and give her the wand - and he hadn’t made it.

And now Killian was tied to a post, the rope painfully squeezing his arms as the flames lit up around him. The Lost Boys had beaten him fiercely, he was sure a couple of his past broken ribs were broken again and he already felt his face starting to swell and a thin trickle of blood running down his forehead.

“I’m sorry, Captain,” Tiger Lily said. Really brave, this woman, she had tried so hard, but in the end nothing mattered. Killian found himself coming to terms with the fact that he was going to die in this blasted island instead of finding the strength in him to fight back. The ropes were already causing burns on his skin and the flames were getting heavier…

In a matter of seconds, he could barely breathe. His chest hurt from the beating and the smoke as he coughed violently, trying to reach for air. The flames would reach him soon enough to start burning him, but he didn’t think he would make it to that. He already felt his throat go dry and his eyes fill with tears, it would be a miracle if he was still alive when the flames reached him.

Then, suddenly, all fire went out. Killian coughed, inhaling back oxygen, when a hauntingly familiar laugh was heard.

“Don’t bother, boys. I may have a better idea for him,” Peter Pan said as he appeared from the trees, a smug smile on his face.

The Lost Boys turned to him. For a few seconds, they were silent, but as Pan slowly approached Killian’s half-slumped form, whispers and gasps of awe were heard among them.

“How…” Killian managed.

“You didn’t really think I’d stay down there for long, did you?” Pan said, his face now dangerously close to Killian’s - as Pan did. The demon reached fast and grabbed Killian’s hair, forcing him to look up. Killian grunted, coughing out again.

“You underestimated me, Captain. And you deserve to be punished for that.” Pan drew out a dagger and rested the long edge of the blade on Killian’s forehead. He dragged it down his face, almost, but not quite, drawing blood. Killian shivered at the cold feel.

Eventually, Pan reached behind Killian and cut off the ropes. Killian swayed on his feet, but Pan’s grip on his hair forced him to stay up, and Killian grabbed the post to support himself better. Again, the blade moved to his forehead, this time slicing through ever so slightly but still causing Killian to almost hiss out in pain.

“Bloody demon,” he whispered.

“I missed you too, Captain,” Pan said with a smile. He then pushed Killian to the side, throwing him on the ashes of the burned twigs. Immediately, he was surrounded by Lost Boys. Killian realized he had lost sight of Tiger Lily.

“Magic has changed here since I died,” Pan said. “I can feel it. Has Dreamshade changed at all?”

“Yes,” a Lost Boy said. “It’s not lethal anymore, but it will cause the same pain for days.”

Pan’s smile widened, his gaze still on Killian. “That’ll do,” he said. “Bring me the poison.”

Killian swallowed hard. That cursed poison would not kill him - per the boy’s words - but he had seen enough of his crew begging to be killed as the pain overtook them to know what to expect. In a desperate attempt he tried to stand up and run away, but a boot collided with his stomach and forced him to fall back on the ground as he wheezed for air.

“Not so fast,” a younger Lost Boy said arrogantly. Killian looked him in the eye, trying to find a warm feeling, a memory of his home, anything he could use to get the boy on his side, but there was nothing. His eyes were as angry and cold as everyone else’s.

“Now,” Killian said before he coughed again, “I’m sure there’s a more peaceful way to solve this.” He stood up on his feet, still shakily, but he made it.

“Oh?” Pan asked. “And who said we want it this way?” His terrifying smile was back, and Killian felt his blood freeze. A boy approached Pan and offered a gloved hand that held a twig of Dreamshade. Unconsciously, Killian took a step behind as Pan took the twig and examined it.

“Yes,” Pan muttered, “it has grown weaker… so I guess that’s good news, Captain. You won’t suffer the same fate your brother did. Or at least, not the final part.” Pan looked back at him and Killian felt a shiver run down his spine as well as anger flare up in him. That bastard-

Without warning, Pan lunged and grabbed Killian’s arm. He pulled Killian’s sleeve up, exposing his tattoo, and with a wicked smile, he sliced the skin over the tattoo with the plant’s thorns.

“Instead, you’ll just suffer more,” Pan said quietly.

Killian couldn’t keep back the shriek as he saw the black poison mix with his blood. Pan released him and Killian brought his arm close to his chest, curling the hand into a fist. Breathing hard, he pulled it away for a moment to examine the wound. His breath caught as he realized Pan’s twisted game, who had cut him in the same place Liam had been injured all that long ago, only now the wound was crossing through Milah’s name as well. His hand started trembling.

“I guess she would want me to say hello, but she was so pissed that you let her rot down there. I figured this way you’d never forget that,” Pan added and looked at him with a lazy smile.

“You bloody demon,” Killian said, but it only caused Pan and the other boys to laugh. The sting of the poison was starting to accompany that of his words, and he breathed deep to stop his panic from settling in.

“Oh,” Pan said eventually. “About your shadow… maybe you’ll allow me to help.” He started reaching forward again. Killian felt a shiver up his spine. What good would it do Pan to poison him if he was planning to rip his shadow off anyway? Pan pushed him backwards, but Killian only staggered back, managing to maintain his balance even as the poison started to overtake him. Killian bit back a wail and stood his ground as the Lost Boys crept closer.

His breath quick and heavy, he lunged towards a thin Lost Boy, shoving him down. He managed to push away two more before the rest of them took hold of him, pushing him down and keeping him there. Killian tried to fight them, but they were too many and the poison was sucking his strength right out of him.

Pan reached forward and produced a knife, his smile unwavering. Killian panted, and though fear had already settled in, he wouldn’t give the demon the satisfaction of showing it - he knew Pan knew him better than that. So he kept looking as Pan moved the blade to his feet.

Suddenly, Pan started… cutting. Killian couldn’t see exactly, though he was sure what was happening, as he felt a piece of him being sliced off - the pain nothing remotely intense as with his hand, or his heart, but still there. He grunted, feeling the poison travel quickly through his blood as he felt his shoulder sting with pain, but couldn’t move any more with so many hands keeping him down.

Pan smiled as he finished, and Killian saw his own shadow start floating away from his body. He felt his hope flare up for a moment, knowing that it could travel back to Emma, but it all died down when he saw another shadow grab hold of his. He was surprised to not feel the touch.

“Don’t worry,” Pan said happily. “We’re only getting started. Bring me those torches!”

The Lost Boys let him go, but Killian was growing too weak to stand up. Against his better judgement, he turned around and started crawling towards the jungle. If Pan and his Boys noticed him, they didn’t show.

Seconds later he felt the burn, an invisible fire scorching right through him without leaving a mark, as if… if… Killian turned around and watched as several lit torches were touching his shadow. The shadow was frantically trying to get away, but it was trapped by Pan’s magic, unable to avoid any hit. And every time a torch touched the shadow, Killian felt the pain as if his own flesh was burning.

Panting, Killian checked around for physical signs of the burn on his body. Aside from his broken ribs, the minor wounds the Lost Boys’ beating caused and the cut from Pan’s blade and the Dreamshade, there were no other marks on his body, at least not where he could feel the pain.

A whimper escaped him as more and more torches were flung at his shadow. KIllian didn’t know how he managed it, but he kept crawling slowly on the dirty floor until he reached the edge of the clearing. Tears of pain were prickling his eyes as he finally crawled under the foliage around a half-fallen tree and collapsed.

He tried to take deep breaths in order to slow down his erratic heartbeat. He knew that the faster his heart beat the quicker the poison would spread, though he was sure by now most of the damage was done. He didn’t even have the strength to unbutton his vest and shirt to check how much time he had left.

He had nothing left to do but wonder if what the Lost Boys said was true. If it really couldn’t kill him… what would happen next? Would the poison simply stay inside his body, or would his blood clear it away?

The pain of the poison and his shadow being burned was growing so much that Killian forced himself to roll over to his side and assume the fetal position. He bit back his cries of pain as he brought his knees as close to his chest as he could.

Eventually, he started shaking, making the tears in his eyes fall. Killian knew those tears weren’t just from the pain, as he felt the hopelessness and devastation overtake him. His sobs were covered by the loud shouts of the Lost Boys celebrating their victory and the return of their King.

“I’m sorry, Emma,” he whispered to himself again and again. If only he’d managed to rip off his own shadow in time…

He couldn’t tell exactly how much time had passed, each passing second of excruciating pain feeling longer as they went by. Killian was shaking and crying, and felt his heart clench, probably when the poison reached it. For a few seconds, he begged for death to take him and relieve him of the never ending torture.

“I’m sorry, Emma,” he whispered shakily one last time as he curled as far into himself as he could, and waited, and waited.

And then suddenly, the Lost Boys started shouting in worry - some even screamed, but for some reason the festivity was over. And so was the fire. Killian took a deep breath, regretting it as soon as he was reminded of his bruised ribs, and tried to move his body. Sure, he could move his hand and probably roll over to his back or stomach and keep crawling, but the pain from the poison was still too much.

As he struggled to support himself on his elbows, he saw his shadow hover above him.

He looked at it for one second before desperately mumbling, “Get me home to Emma!”

The shadow reached over and grabbed his hand, effortlessly lifting him up. Killian dared to smile - he was getting out of there - until he felt someone grab his foot, and then another one, and another one. He turned to see a few Lost Boys trying to drag him back to the ground. There were too many for him to manage to escape like that.

Yet another wave of devastation washed over him as he looked back at his shadow, knowing that his time to react was limited. Grabbing onto it with his hook, he reached into his pocket and produced the part of the wand Emma needed.

“You know what you have to do,” Killian whispered. The shadow nodded and tried to fly away, still willing to get him out of there, but eventually the Lost Boys’ grip dragged him down. Killian fell to the ground, a tear falling from his eye as he watched his shadow leave without him.

 _I love you_ , Emma, he thought right before more punches and kicks started wrecking his already broken body. This time he didn’t wish he could die - at least not until his shadow reached Emma - he only begged for sweet unconsciousness to take him, but that never happened. He felt everything - that kick in his stomach that forced him to throw up what little he’d eaten since he was taken away from home, that punch on his face that made him see stars and probably broke a tooth or two, he even felt the blood starting to pool in his mouth and yet he couldn’t pass out.

Suddenly again, everything was quiet. He was still in pain from the poison and the beating, almost half-conscious as he was, but he didn’t feel being hit anymore and couldn’t hear anything. Perhaps a kick to his back had destroyed his spine, or a punch to his face caused hearing loss, but he welcomed it, whatever it was.

A few seconds later, he was assured that none of these suspicions were true, as he felt two small but strong hands pull him away and heard the sounds of the other figure walking and panting and of his own body being dragged on the forest floor.

He could barely breathe when they stopped. The figure rolled him to his side, and though it hurt lying on his bruised - and probably bleeding - side, he was thankful as he spit out a handful of blood, and finally breathed in a little.

“Wow, you’re still alive,” he heard Tiger Lily say above him. Killian coughed a little more blood and tried to open his eyes and lift his head.

“No, no, don’t push yourself,” he heard and felt a soft cloth being placed under his head, lifting it up a and making his breathing a little easier.

Killian grunted a little, an understated expression of how much pain he was actually in, and tried to speak.

“Are… you...” he started before he coughed again.

“Shh, shh. Just relax and take a breath. You’re badly injured, there’s no need to talk,” Tiger Lily said in a calming voice.

“Shadow?” he managed to croak out.

“It got away with the wand. I’m sorry I didn’t manage to knock out those boys sooner, you could have gotten away-”

“Don’t be,” Killian whispered. “All that matters is that Emma got the wand.”

He opened his eyes to see her nod and bring a wet cloth to his face. He winced at the cold feel, but eventually welcomed its soothing touch.

“Any chance,” he said and coughed, “you could knock me out again… with those… darts of yours?”

“No,” Tiger Lily said emphatically. “If you sleep now you may never wake up. You need to stay up and breathe.”

Killian nodded. “Is it true that… that Dreamshade…”

“Won’t kill you? Yes. Though it will hurt like hell until your body removes all the poison from the blood.”

Killian sighed in relief. He only hoped it wouldn’t take long so he could work on getting back to Emma.

“Shouldn’t my shadow be able to come back?” he asked.

Tiger Lily looked up, shaking her head. “There are far too many shadows looming around, I don’t think it will manage to get past them again… What did you do to Pan?”

“What?” he breathed, confused.

“One moment he was there, celebrating with the other Lost Boys as they burned your shadow… and the next he just disappeared, as if he was never there. The shadows went berserk and your own escaped.”

Killian shook his head, trying to not move too much to make the pain worse. “I have no idea.”

Tiger Lily sighed. “Hmm. Perhaps Pan made a deal and wasn’t allowed to stay long in the realm of the living.”

“Let’s hope so,” Killian muttered.

A bright light blinded them both then, until they saw a door appear out of nowhere. Killian didn’t bother to see how the door looked like, as it opened quickly and Emma emerged from it, looking around worried until she spotted him.

“Killian!” she exclaimed and ran to his side, dropping on her knees in front of him.

“Emma? What are you-” he tried to say, but was interrupted both by a coughing fit and Tiger Lily trying to shush them out.

“We’ll be spotted!” she said.

“Don’t mind them,” Emma said. “We’re getting out of here. Killian?”

Killian grunted as he tried to sit up, and both women lifted him up, carrying him together to the door.

“Go, I’ll stay here,” Tiger Lily said.

“What?!” Emma said, turning to her.

“Wait…” Killian tried.

“This is my home. I’ll be fine,” she said, smiling brightly to Killian.

“Thank you,” he whispered, finally giving up on keeping his head up.

Tiger Lily nodded. “Good luck,” she said to Emma. “Now come on,” she said, gently pushing the two through the door.

The next second, they were both falling on the floor of Snow White’s apartment, Henry, Regina and Snow herself bending down to help them up.

“Careful, he’s injured,” Emma said and as if on cue, a grunt escaped from Killian’s lips. He rolled on his side and tried to catch his breath.

Emma kneeled in front of him, her hand caressing his cheek.

“How did you…” he started.

“We got your message… Killian?” She sounded worried, and Killian opened his eyes to look at her. She looked worried as well.

“I’ll be alright,” he said, forcing a small smile on his lips. Again he felt a pillow being placed under his head, though this time the material was softer.

Emma took a shaky breath. “Is that Dreamshade?”

Killian’s smile fell. Oh, that.

He simply shook his head. “Tiger Lily said it’s not lethal anymore.”

“Tiger Lily?” Henry said.

Emma let out a breath. “I’m going to try to heal you anyway. You’re in a pretty bad shape without the poison.”

Killian nodded, and soon felt Emma’s magic wash over him as a part of his pain went away. He could breathe a little easier, and his face didn’t feel swollen anymore, but the poison was still intact, making his whole right arm and chest sting painfully.

“Thank you,” he said and grunted.

“The poison is still in,” Emma said, still worried.

“We should go to Gold and ask for some elixir. He made it once for David, he can make it again,” Snow said.

“You think the Crocodile would help me?” Killian said, breathing out a laugh.

“We won’t say it’s for you,” Regina offered. “Snow, you can stay here, Henry?”

Henry appeared a little undecided, looking first at Killian, then at Regina. “I think you’ll have more chances of convincing him if you say it’s for me. I think I’ll stay here.”

Regina nodded, then promptly walked out.

Henry kneeled down next to his mother. “Are you better? Do you need anything?” he told Killian. Killian merely shook his head. He was already feeling too overwhelmed by the attention, and trying to let the fact that he was back _home_ sink in.

They got him on the couch, and Snow and Henry walked away as soon as Killian settled on it. Killian turned towards the direction of Snow’s - and David’s - bed.

“Your father?” Killian whispered to Emma.

“He’s still asleep,” Emma said, caressing his cheek. He leaned into the touch and let it comfort him as he was reminded of how much he owed to her and her father.

“I’m sorry I disappeared like that,” he whispered, looking down.

“It’s okay. I know Gideon took you away. I heard you from the shell.”

Killian looked up at that, the poison making his head sting at the movement. “You heard?” He couldn’t help a little smile at that.

Emma nodded, and Killian’s face fell as he remembered the most important detail. “That’s not the whole story though, love. I was about to leave, I was scared of what your father would see of me, and I thought that going away with Nemo and atoning for my sins would… would…” he couldn’t find the words amidst the onslaught of emotions. “I changed my mind at the last moment, but Gideon had already set his plan in motion…”

“It’s okay, Killian,” Emma said, still caressing his cheek and now his hair. “I didn’t exactly make it easy for you to talk, so… sorry about that,” she said, a shy smile on her lips.

Killian smiled back, overwhelmed by how much Emma Swan was still insecure about how he felt about her.

“You know,” he started, “I would propose to you again right now, before I get pushed into another portal, but I feel like this won’t be the right way.”

Emma’s smile widened. “Now is a good time as any, but I think you should rest.”

Killian nodded, and as he turned his head to look back at where David was resting, he caught a glimpse of a human shadow… where it shouldn’t be.

“Emma…” he said, pointing towards it.

Emma looked at it, still smiling. “Uh, yeah, that message you sent me…”

Killian’s eyebrows went up. “Is that my shadow?”

Emma nodded, being proven correct when the shadow reached forward and Killian saw that the shadow’s right hand was replaced by a hook, reflecting his own left missing hand.

“Right,” he breathed. “Any ideas how to... attach it back on me?”

Emma appeared thoughtful. “I may have an idea…” she said and stood up, walking to the kitchen. Killian watched as his shadow followed Emma and… caressed her hair as she searched. Emma merely gave it a look, smiled and went on searching.

He must have had a ridiculous face, for as she walked back to him, she almost burst out in laughs. He was still looking at his own shadow with disdain.

“You’re impossible,” Emma said as she sat down on the sofa next to his feet. “I can understand being jealous of other versions of yourself, but being jealous of your own shadow…” She was smiling widely as she produced some thread and a needle.

“Does it even have a conscience? Should it act this- Hey!” he said suddenly when his shadow wrapped its arms around Emma from behind and rubbed its head on hers, making her giggle.

“I think the more you’re provoking it, the more it’ll act that way,” Emma said as she threaded the needle.

“You’re enjoying this,” Killian said with mock accusation. She wasn’t simply fine with it…

“What can I say?” she said, shrugging. “I’m a fan of every part of you.”

Seeing her bright smile and hearing his own words reflected back to him by her made his heart feel warm. He smiled, almost overwhelmed by how happy he was feeling again.

Emma turned to his shadow. “Now, will you let me try and sew you back to your body?” she said. “I can’t believe I just said this to a shadow,” she said, half-turning to Killian, making him laugh. The same incredulous Emma Swan he fell in love with.

However, the shadow floated further, crossing its arms and turning its head to the side, as if completely ignoring her.

“Come on,” Emma said. “Don’t tell me you want to stay like that.”

The shadow appeared unaffected by her words.

Killian couldn’t believe his eyes. “Really, mate? So willing to get her all for you? Need I remind you that you can feel pain now?”

At that, the shadow turned towards him, arms still crossed. Killian smiled a sly smile at it.

“Maybe we could offer something in return… don’t forget that it travelled a long distance to get me your message,” Emma said and stood up, her back to the light. Extending her arm, she waved it and a dim light shot from it towards her shadow. It shimmered a little, going bright for a while before turning back to normal.

Emma turned to the shadow again. “Now whenever our shadows touch, you will feel mine as if you were touching me.”

Looking at his shadow’s eyes, Killian could swear it was smiling. It nodded and floated right above Killian’s feet. Emma sat back down and started sewing the shadow back on Killian. The tiny pinches from the needle as well as Emma’s other hand on his feet was distracting him from the now numb feeling the poison had left him with. He knew he would have died by now if it still had been lethal, so he allowed himself a sigh of relief.

When she was done, Emma gestured at him to scoot deeper in the sofa and she lay down facing him. She kissed him softly on the lips and wrapped her arm around his waist, as he let his eyes close and the sleep he desperately needed claim him.


End file.
